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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Country Music Record Covers Unintentionally Making The World Laugh For Decades

Hello folks, Murphy Winston here to rant about things that don't really matter, but will hopefully bring a smile to everyone's face.  Today is Thursday, the day that the Vulture and I take the records we put out on the previous Friday and shift them to the (old new) section, the records that are in the (old new) section from the previous Friday get shifted to the regular stock that divided by genre.  One thing that always happens on this day while putting up records is the good old past time of making fun of goofy record covers.  One genre that keeps coming with the hits is the country music genre.  The Vulture and I got to talking about what the next blog post should be about. We decided it had to be about how country music record covers have unintentionally been a source of comic relief for decades.  Immediately we got to digging through the entire section.  It only took about 10 to 15 minutes till we had collected roughly 20 records.  We traveled up to the front of the shop on a mission.  We needed to cut the selection down to at least six, and needed help, and both knew Leah, POPS vintage clothing department manager, would enjoy narrowing down the winners with us.  It's a team effort over here folks, all day, every day.  Back to the focus at hand, there were only 2 records in the stash that we all decided absolutely had to be in the winner's circle.  The records were sprawled out on the floor in the front room of the shop, and after some deliberation the results were in and we had our winners folks.  I hope you find these covers just as funny as we do.
(You can enlarge each picture by clicking on it)


First up!  Joe Stampley "I'm Gonna Love You Back To Loving Me Again"
 
Oh boy, the title it self is a classic example of unintentional hilarity.  The title alone screams, I will stalk you forever pretty lady.  If you look closely at Mr. Stampley's eye's it look like he had got through having a crying session.  There's actually a song titled "Let's Get Together And Cry".  You know the woman this record was written for was probably named Crystal or Faith.  I wonder if he ever loved her back to loving him again?  Our money's on nope.  She probably had him arreseted immediately after he showed up at her door in the wee hours of the night to show her that he made this record specifically for her.  Crystal or Faith or whatever your name may be, thank you for making us laugh today.


Dave Rowland & Sugar "Pleasure"

 To quote the Vulture, " I've seen Tony Orlando and Dawn friend, and you are no Tony Orlando and Dawn".  Do you think cocaine was involved with the creation of this album cover?  The chest hair protruding from the silk western shirt ol' Dave Rowland is rocking lets us know he's a man of class, Oh hey look there's Crystal and Faith I was mentioning earlier, sorry Joe Stampley they were tired of your crying ways and decided to get with a real man!




This cover doesn't only rule because of the front...  Wait for it...

Bam!
  
Oh snap! To quote my man the Vulture again "It looks like there was a head on collision between Earth, Wind, and Fires tour bus and the Oakridge Boys tour bus".  I love the fact that on the front cover Mr. Rowland is smiling, but on the back cover it's looks like he's getting a bit weary of the photo shoot, and maybe second guessing Crystal and Faith's choice of concept for the cover.  Maybe the cocaine was wearing off, a mystery we will never know folks.  But luckily we have this fine artifact to remember Dave Rowland by.





Gene Watson "This Dream's On Me"


                                                                                                                                                                
I love how the record cover suggest that you are in some sick, and twisted dream where Gene Watson is standing in front of you, leaning on what I assume is his bed, with a look of disapproval on his face.  If this dream is on you sir... Please for Christ's sake wake me up from this horrible nightmare!  His country fro is extremely saucy, oh and there's a bottle of champagne on ice in the background to set the mood for the album.  Mr. Watson must think highly of himself with songs like "You Sure Make Cheatin' Look Easy", and "The Last Thing I Planned To Do Today Was Cheat".  These songs are back to back actually.  Either he thinks highly of himself or he wrote these songs in the voice of the woman that was brave enough to take on the daunting task of being romantically involved with him.  Folks this dream's on me, and on the the next cover!

John Anderson "Tokyo, Oklahoma"

Hahahahaha!  You know John Anderson just got through watching the "Karate Kid" when he came up for the concept of this gem of a cover.  The look on his face suggests he's about to ask you something to the effect of, "What?  You ain't never seen a grown man with a dolphin necklace rocking a cowboy hat with the a Japanese bandana wrapped around it?" No, no I have not Mr. Anderson, no I have not.






Johnny Russell "Here Comes Johnny Russell", & "She's In Love With A Rodeo Man"
We decided that both of these Johnny Russell's album covers had to be on here because they rule to hard.

Oh, this is just to easy.  Do you wan't to know why Johnny's smiling on this album cover?  It's because the record label promised to only pay him in cheese burgers, and chilli dogs.  The song title's alone just make this to easy, "Catfish John" is a song about a man that Johnny mistakenly thought was a catfish, so he ate him.  "Hello I Love You" is a ballad about his love hate relationship with White Castle's pulled pork sandwich.  Lastly, "Our Marriage was a failure", a heartfelt song which Johnny laments his late wife...  That he accidentally ate because in a drunken stupor confused her with a giant doughnut.  Okay enough about this cover on to the next one!

This one is even better!  On this cover Johnny is at a bar drinking, and smoking his Marlboro cigarette and looking off to the side.  We here assume that someone was dangling a pack of fresh frankfurters in front of him and Johnny got super amped about it.  If you look in the background you can see a couple that are obviously telling each other jokes about Johnny.  The woman looks as if she's trying really hard to not look at him, and the gentleman is looking Johnny's way with a grin ear to ear on his face.  Little do they know when feeding time comes Johnny will go into a rage and gorge himself on human flesh if he doesn't immediately have two pulled pork sandwiches in front of him.  They also don't know that he intentionally picked this bar because they don't serve pulled pork.   There's also a bunch of classic tracks on this album as well.  "Too Late To Turn Back Now" is about Johnny's first experience at the Super Happy Fun Time Buffet.  "Draggin' Shackles" was actually supposed to be titled "Draggin' Cankles", but the record label would not allow him to make such a song about his late wife he had devoured earlier in his life because he though she was a giant pastry. Enough of making fun of ol' Johnny Russell, I'm sure he was actually a pretty cool dude to hang with.


This last cover will speak for itself, and my words would do it no justice anyway.

Harold Morrison "Hoss, He's The Boss"


We hope you have enjoyed this as as much as Leah, the Vulture and I enjoyed picking these gems out.

Thanks for allowing us to waste your time.

Sincerely,

Murphy Winston



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